Meltdown -Scenes Behind the Scenes

First of all, had the Big Bang Machine destroyed the World, I wouldn't have been able to write this blog at all. But since it didn't God gave me more opportunities to torture you guys. :)

Anyways what the Scientists failed to do, apna sweet ol' America did it by creating a bigger Blackhole than the Machine could which sucked out the whole world's Money. Well this time I don't wanna bother you with long written Blogs (stop screaming with Joy :x ). Rather I just got you some few things you may have not known of the Crises.

Already sloshed with problems in every state, Inflation at all time High and now India has to Face this......

"Kaand kare koi aur, aur humme bhugatna pad raha hai."



Ostrich Ki Soch: Our Finance Minister believes we have nothing to worry at all....

"Don't Worry!!! Our Economy is insulated from any crisis."



And can anyone explain to me this????



I bet you didn't know this........


And Employment is hitting everywhere........Even Underworld is facing problems as Builders themselves are kadka....Here is a story of how another terrorist in USA became unemployed.



Yeh thi ab tak ki khabre.......... for all those who didn't like my blog there is some good news.....
"YOUR NEXT SALARY OR POCKET MONEY MAY NOT COME AT ALL." Thank you and have a great Day. :)

-Brian

Nuclear Race Against Time

If I were to take a very neutral view of the Nuclear deal I would sum up by saying "HOLY MARY, JESUS, GANPATI, RAMA, I CANT BELIEVE WE GOT THE DEAL"

Ok!!! So maayybee that wasn't such a neutral opinion but What the heck!!! Its for real. For a deal riddled with so many anti-lobbyist (some genuinely freaked about Nuclear proliferation, some opportunists and some intellectually pieces of wastes), its really hard to believe that it finally got the see the light of the day. Something that began on 18th July 2005, it really was the drama, not in the 11th hour but the 11th hour and 59th Minute that makes it so special. Forget a documentary, you could create a typical Bollywood Flick with so much action. Maybe you cud have Amitabh Bachchan as Manmohan Singh and Shah Rukh Khan as George Bush. I would also like to choose Rakhi Sawant as Mayawati but that would be an insult Sawant's reputation. Maybe I could take her for an item number song of Madhuri's Ek Do Teen, in lieu of Agreement 123. (George Bush stop smiling.... She is not a piece of meat)

Among of zillion crap things that the two leaders have done during their tenure, this will perhaps shine out as the sole beacon of limelight for them. For Manmohan Singh, who invested more than his personal stake in this deal, this wud rather be a floodlight than the limelight atleast in his mind. Not so much in the political circles considering he is surrounded by Intellectual Eunuchs. He might have dithered just once when he mentioned last year under Left Sponsored Failing Hope that No deal would not be end of the road. Today he can easily show them his Left hand's 3rd Finger from the left. ;)

The Left have members in the age group of our grandfathers and an ideology of their Forefathers. In 60 years they were never part of the Ruling government and this time when they got a chance in the coalition, they were nothing more than a nagging wife who makes more noise than a mad dog. Throughout the govt played a yes and no game with this mad dog. Finally wen the deal reached a phase of Now or Never, they damned the Left, Left said Damn the Govt and UPA told SP, you are my damn Friend. Now started Mahayudh for Trust Vote with fierce changing political equations which when drawn on paper wud make Nuclear Fission Process Diagram seem a cakewalk. A tear of joy rolled down my cheek when I heard the Left quit. Good riddance. :D

Trust Vote:
This Mega Event saw the unlikliest of groups getting together. For the Left who was totally against going Nuclear and its Testing was now fighting against India giving up its Right to Test. :| To depicts the extent of their bankrupt idealogy, they sided with their sworn enemies, The NDA and the Casteist Mayawati. She is one who wouldn't know the difference of Nuclear from Deal made the Vote all about projecting herself as the Next Prime Minister. This seasoned Opportunist put forth the Wonky Donky Theory.

1. Muslims against America
2. America makes Deal with India.
3. Muslims against Deal.

Of course many Muslim bodies have rejected this on grounds they may not understand the deal but are certainly not against anything thats good for India. But where is she listening. After her die hard tactics didn't work it came down to accusing BJP and Congress of cahooting together to scuttle her PM candidature. Thats like saying King Kong and Bigfoot mated together to make Godzilla jealous. :-S

Advani who initially advocated the deal found later that as Opposition head, he must just oppose anything and everything, went back to claim otherwise. NDA says they will renegotiate the deal if they come to power. Halwa hai kya!!! Going back to US and 45 Nations NSG group to renegotiate!!! Are they actually competing with Rakhi Sawant in making Nakhras?? The Cash for Vote scam did mar the Trust vote. 2 wrongs don't make a right but dirty politics was played with dirty politicians to make possible something good. Some votes were bought in cash. Some through promise of Chief Ministership to a convict. And the Left, who had no issues on those tainted voting for Office of Profit issue, had a terrible problem with them voting here. They were even willing to circumvent Constitutional practice by asking Somnath to step down to add in one more vote to their count. Bravo, that he snubbed them right off!!! 2 days of Highest TRP all news channels got. Best reality show ever. One talks of Kalawati, another snubs Mayawati. Few display hordes of cash, Rest all speak trash.

After the Vote was won, the losers went to media with all their Abba dabba jabba. They still go on and on which reminds me of those dogs that keep barking in the night. Reasons unknown even to them they can keep up barking for hours back and forth. Meanwhile the victors went to IAEA and NSG.

NSG MEET: 45 Deshon Ka Taandav

So now victory in Domestic India was achieved next step was to patau the world to say yes. Ironically the NPT and NSG were formed because India had shaken the western worlds spine by doing nuclear tests in 1974. And now they were bending backwards to make place for India that had rejected the NPT. Usual spoilsports here as anticipated were Austria, Norway, Ireland, Switzerland and New Zealand. Powerful Bakbaki Pro Non-proliferation countries they are. After all many of them have elections in their own countries soon and were answerable. When first round fell flat, the second round was even more time bound for the survival of the deal. This is the juncture where one cannot argue over the influence USA still possesses. By the second crucial day, USA made sure one by one the Rogue countries fell in line. All the strings were pulled during the innumerable 3 hour long breaks. All USA had to ask was "who is your Daddy??" and they reluctantly replied "You are"

As far as Hindi-Chini Bhai bhai is considered, they sure acted like a Sautela Bhai. That wolf in sheep's skin afraid of Rising India to China's ambitions made a grossly miscalculated move of damaging the deal at this point by saying there was no need hurry up with the deal (DUHHHH!!!). They back stabbed us even after we gave them a protest free Olympic torch run in Delhi. Strongly worded displeasure from India (1%) and one call from President Bush (99%) made sure the Dragons fire was put out like a phuski apti bomb.

Negotiations dragged on for an uncalled 3rd day and The USA supremacy ruled. They only were the ones to put the sanctions in 1970's and 1998, then lift some in 2001 for co-operation on War on terror and now get India to the Grand Nuclear club. Now we have our weapons, we will get supplies, and technology even in other sectors like Aviation, pharmacy, IT, Space. We are anyways not going to test anytime soon. After Vajpayee himself had assured the world on Voluntary Moratorium and No First Use policy. Unfortunately that does mean that one Indian city may go down b4 we press Attack Button. But if conditions demand, No country, especially not Growing India would bother listening to a deal. Gandhiji said if someone slaps u on your cheek, you present your other cheek. But if someone holds a gun at your head, Sorry BOSS, you have just one head. You got to protect it. As far as Supporting USA against Iran's Nuclear programme, a US law cant mandate India's foreign policy. What would they do? Sue the Indian Prime minister in US supreme court?

Last step is getting the deal passed through the US Congress without the mandatory 30 day period bcos from October onwards starts CNN's favourite Show- US Presidential Elections. And for a country who managed to get all the 45 countries in Line can sure manage that feat in their own backyard. After all they have to hurry up before the Russians and French gobble up $100bn business in India. For India for now we need Supply of uranium which is less. Through R & D and advanced technology we can develop Thorium reactors as well of which we have 300 years worth of fuel. By then God knows, what global warming wud hv done to our earth? The next Ice Age may be approaching. People wud be removing quarterly passes to the moon. But when you get down on the moon, one thing will still be the same. The Left holding Bandhs. I say leave them forever there only. If possible dump them there now itself.

Poem for my Valentine

        Ok guys!!! Here a Noble Poem for those who want to impress their loved ones and need some guidance. GO right ahead and use my Poem. Would be glad to help. However if it has any adverse effects, I am not to be blamed. Wat you are about to venture in is got to be done at your own risk. Again guys, Wish you guys a happy Valentines Day.


My Valentine:-
 
I kno for you readin' poetry
is as wierd as
a Slut talking of Sanskruti
or the Pope wearing a Dhoti

Maybe I cud be wrong,
but my feelings are so strong
to avoid becoming "Y" after "HORN"
I am writing you this Song

For me at first
the difference between Love and Lust
was sumthing where, in one you Hold hands
And the other you focus on the BUST

Pehle I felt nothing Such
Lekin time can change so much
So now I will tell you sach sach
I wanna get up ev'ry morning with ur touch

You are now for me that CLASSIC
No porn movie can satisfy
Even Mills and Boons seems so Basic :(
Saying "You mean nothing to me, my rasmalai"
would be a terrible Lie

Over the deserts of Sahara
Riding on the Falls of Niagra
In the Eskimo's largest Igloo
O'vr the peaks of the Tallest mountain
No wait, I'd rather do it with you
Beside the muncipality ka fountain.

I may not be a perfect Poet
but you'll kno my other skills after we DO IT ;)
We cud start wid wine and dine,
And end with my favourite No. 69
Oh Honey, Pls be my Valentine.
:D

Crazy Me, Crazy Signatures

Its been over two years since when I have been forwarding my mails in bulk to my friends and/or foes. With every mail I have added a touch of my madness in the form of the Signatures written below. They may be based on the current happenings then like the ban on Adult Content to restructuring the solar system with possible new planets before Pluto was kicked out. Or they simply could be a passing crappy idea that bounced off my head. Quite a unique collection has been accumulated till yet and I feel showcase it out on display like some Museum through my BLOG. Its a different story all together whether i have an audience or no who bother visiting it. Those who dont, Lucky you....for the rest...yeh hai ab tak ki paagalpan till 2007:

1)
(Copy Paste it in ur add bar and click enter. Its not a BUG -BRIAN)
javascript:function flood(n) {if (self.moveBy) {for (i = 15; i > 0;i--){for
(j = n; j > 0; j--){ self.moveBy( 1,i);self. moveBy(i, 0);self.moveBy( 0,
-i);self. moveBy(-i, 0); } } }}flood(6);{ var inp = "nairB morf SESSAKCAJ uoy lla ot
8002 RAEY WEN YPPAH
:erutangiS wen ym si sihT"; var outp = ""; for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) {outp
=inp.charAt (i) + outp ; } alert(outp) ;}; reverse

2)
Too many Cooks spoil the Broth. So then you must be getting only CRAP to eat in Big Hotels unless there is only 1 Chef cooking.

3)
Due to the recent findings of traces of insanity in all my emails, The Kazakhistan's Mental Institution has recalled all of them. Open the mails at your own risk. Ohh!! Its too late for you.

4)
.serutangiS ym daer ot etarepsed era yllaer uoY !!!woW
(Read in Arabic style from Right to Left)

5)
My religion forbids me from sending forwards to other Humans. So Please tell your Masters to stop pestering me. Here, hv a biscuit.

6)
Hum Angreezo ke zamaane ke E-Mailer hai.........

7)
If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,
then if you were born on Earth, you must be a Transvertite.

-Brian (Martian)

8)
Why is writing an unprepared exam like having sex????
Kyunki jo answer nahi aata woh THOK do........

9)
Horoscope for 2007 by Brian
Aries- The phase that nobody cared 4 u last year is going to continue
Taures- uhh...mmmm...Look a bone...Go Catch!
Gemini- The truth of ur sun sign is u r a Ge-mini. That means a Mini Gay
Cancer- U wil get d Cancer of ur choice. Blood cancer, Skin Cancer
Leo- Ur partner wil hv an affair wid THE ONE -Neo
Virgo- Who are u kidding? Ur new sun sign should be VIRgin-long-aGO
Libra- This year is all about Bras and Viagras. (sorry bt there wont be any women)
Scorpio- Remember d last time u got laid? I hope you do, bcos there is no more luck till 2008
Saggitarius- Ur GF, who has nt slept with u yet bcos she sd she was saving up 4 d marriage, is pregnant
Capricorn- RUN!! George Bush has declared war on Capricorns bcos a Capricorn idiot threw a Rubber Duck on him. U.S Army has been deployed on the Tropic of Capricorn
Aquarius- 4 better luck you need to spell your star sign as "Aekwaryus"
Picses- U r a Star sign? Since when.....never heard of you.....NEXT!

10)
Innovative Warning on a Condom Packet:-
There is many a Drip between
your Prick and her Hip.

11)
We both know everyone must have some secrets...........
So don't take it wrongly when people ask me "Do I know You" and I disgustingly pretend I obviously do not. I would like that to be a secret......
FOREVER.

12)
Due to the recent Ban on Adult Content, Discovery Channel has been asked to amend its Biography on Archimedes and incur some Indian Values. So after a Royal bath instead of running naked shouting "Eureka", Archimedes will fully dress himself, Oil his hair and take his parents blessings before going out and Shouting HARI OM, HARI OM

13)
I wonder why they Kicked me out when I proposed to declare MY Own WORLD as the Fourth New Planet in the Solar System......Maybe they would take me more seriously if I adopted a Roman Gods name like Bacchus.....The God of Wine and partying.......

--Bacchus (formely known as Brian)

14)
Send this mail to 6546465135 people within 47 secs holding your right leg in your left hand while scratching under ur arms and you will get Brian Baba's Ashirwad for Smooth Motions.

If you will not, please carry Tissue paper at all times. You have been fore-warned.
--Brian Baba

15)
New Song:-
If there's something STRANGE
in your NEIGHBOURHOOD........
Who ur gonna Call????

.............ROBIN-HOOD

16)
Aap Jaisa koi, Meri Zindagi aaye,
To Baat ka batangad ban jayage......


17)
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:-
If an Eye for an Eye will make the whole world Blind.
Is Global Warming bcos of you and I Farting???????

18)
This mail has been sent by Brian........
-B for BhatacharyaNarangSwami
-R for RavindraVeerPurabSinghal
-I for IndraNarayanVidyabharti
-A for AurangzebMuftiAlMohammedKhan and
-N for NityaVallakichamSuryavanshRai
............Dobara Mat Puchna


19)
Aaram Haraam hai,
Mein Haraami hoon.......


20)
The World's most desperate flirting line---
Kya Tum Akele ho.......
Mujse Zabardasti karoge


21)
If you wish to unsubscribe from receiving my mails then---
BULLSHIT...There is no such way....You're SCREWED.


22)
My Mom told me not to send emails to strangers.........By the way
Whats your name????????

23)
Don't drink while Surfing....

24)
Who authorised you to get mails from me?

Magical Pricing, Magical Products

The TATA's 1 Lakh car has now been established as the cheapest car in the World till date. It was one of the Most awaited Products of our times. The fantasy of launching a product with a Magical price, one that drastically knocks down the base price to a new low, compelling all competitors to run helter skelter redrawing every known and unknown marketing strategy. While this magical round figure with 1 and corresponding zeroes have fascinated many, few targets hv been achieved and few are still in the Pipeline.


Rs. 100000/- Tata's Nano
Rs. 10000/- Home PC
Rs. 1000/- Mobile Phone
Rs. 100/- Monthly Broadband Connection
Rs. 10/- Chota Recharge
Re. 1/- One India plan (Phone call to all over India.)

If this goes on, I will have to bid my used underwears on Ebay for 10p onwards :-(

I can Rape and Kill you for just Rs.12500/- flat:

Its 10 days into the new year and it ceratinly one to reckon with. Especially if you belong to the fairer sex. Even before the clock struck 12 on New years eve, in our CM's own backyard Taslima was raped and killed by 4 youths. Here's an Instruction Manual for those commited such heinous sins.

Step 1: Hang the girls body on a tree and leave for the family to discover their girl lifeless suspended in mid-air.
Step 2: Get your elders involved to talk with the Victims family to accept Rs.50000/- (dat amounts to Rs.12500/- per youth) and shut their mouth forever.*
* Conditions Apply: Threats to the rest of the family may be issued.
Step 3: Go in for the low key burial for the victim. (now why wud you want to tarnish the boys image for such a small thing)

Incase you think I am mocking a serious issue, prove me that isn't exactly what is being done!! The entire Panchayat and police go in cahoots to protect the 4 boys who have scoffed at the thought of any punishment coming over them for what they hv done. Why? Bcos who in Gods name would care whatever happened to Taslima in this male dominated bastion? Who the hell is Taslima? And why should her murder spoil the future of 4 youths?

Well past 12 midnight into the New year, things may look different this year. BZZZZZZZZZ........think again. Few hours into it and 80 men substituted burning an old man with fondling women in public a much better way to start the year. While the couple under attack hv stayed away from the case by switching off their cellphones, it took the media to tirelessly play and replay the incident gnawing every nook and corner of the issue for the Home Ministry to wake up and kick the commissioner for his gawti statements regarding women and why they should be left at home to produce and raise children.

And why mumbai.......The new year news was filled with women groping stories from Kochi to Kolkatta...Media-glared Issues may be slurred at first by authorities in a oversmart bid to show that the media is stupid. If the media throws that back with vengeance, they simply bite the dust and then promise action on the issue... No wait...something more feeble which will not hound them till the overzealous media gets on to something else. They will say they will LOOK INTO THE MATTER.....hmmm. I mean can you imagine the efforts they would hv to put if they were to raise the conviction rate of crimes against women which is at a pathetic 26% and even more pathetic 11% at the state level?

A story in similarity to Juhu case happened in Australia this weekend at the Summernats Street car festival when a mob of around 400 drunk men surrounded young girls and asked them to flash their breasts. No excuse here that while this sick form of behaviour is not restricted only to India, but its for sure accepted as an awfully disgusting behaviour in all cultures across the globe. Atleast the females will think so.

Maybe this is the Chinese year of Man....the wildest among all Breasts....I MEAN BEASTS.... Ohh I forgot I was a man myself.
God Save the Women