Crazy Me, Crazy Signatures

Its been over two years since when I have been forwarding my mails in bulk to my friends and/or foes. With every mail I have added a touch of my madness in the form of the Signatures written below. They may be based on the current happenings then like the ban on Adult Content to restructuring the solar system with possible new planets before Pluto was kicked out. Or they simply could be a passing crappy idea that bounced off my head. Quite a unique collection has been accumulated till yet and I feel showcase it out on display like some Museum through my BLOG. Its a different story all together whether i have an audience or no who bother visiting it. Those who dont, Lucky you....for the rest...yeh hai ab tak ki paagalpan till 2007:

1)
(Copy Paste it in ur add bar and click enter. Its not a BUG -BRIAN)
javascript:function flood(n) {if (self.moveBy) {for (i = 15; i > 0;i--){for
(j = n; j > 0; j--){ self.moveBy( 1,i);self. moveBy(i, 0);self.moveBy( 0,
-i);self. moveBy(-i, 0); } } }}flood(6);{ var inp = "nairB morf SESSAKCAJ uoy lla ot
8002 RAEY WEN YPPAH
:erutangiS wen ym si sihT"; var outp = ""; for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) {outp
=inp.charAt (i) + outp ; } alert(outp) ;}; reverse

2)
Too many Cooks spoil the Broth. So then you must be getting only CRAP to eat in Big Hotels unless there is only 1 Chef cooking.

3)
Due to the recent findings of traces of insanity in all my emails, The Kazakhistan's Mental Institution has recalled all of them. Open the mails at your own risk. Ohh!! Its too late for you.

4)
.serutangiS ym daer ot etarepsed era yllaer uoY !!!woW
(Read in Arabic style from Right to Left)

5)
My religion forbids me from sending forwards to other Humans. So Please tell your Masters to stop pestering me. Here, hv a biscuit.

6)
Hum Angreezo ke zamaane ke E-Mailer hai.........

7)
If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,
then if you were born on Earth, you must be a Transvertite.

-Brian (Martian)

8)
Why is writing an unprepared exam like having sex????
Kyunki jo answer nahi aata woh THOK do........

9)
Horoscope for 2007 by Brian
Aries- The phase that nobody cared 4 u last year is going to continue
Taures- uhh...mmmm...Look a bone...Go Catch!
Gemini- The truth of ur sun sign is u r a Ge-mini. That means a Mini Gay
Cancer- U wil get d Cancer of ur choice. Blood cancer, Skin Cancer
Leo- Ur partner wil hv an affair wid THE ONE -Neo
Virgo- Who are u kidding? Ur new sun sign should be VIRgin-long-aGO
Libra- This year is all about Bras and Viagras. (sorry bt there wont be any women)
Scorpio- Remember d last time u got laid? I hope you do, bcos there is no more luck till 2008
Saggitarius- Ur GF, who has nt slept with u yet bcos she sd she was saving up 4 d marriage, is pregnant
Capricorn- RUN!! George Bush has declared war on Capricorns bcos a Capricorn idiot threw a Rubber Duck on him. U.S Army has been deployed on the Tropic of Capricorn
Aquarius- 4 better luck you need to spell your star sign as "Aekwaryus"
Picses- U r a Star sign? Since when.....never heard of you.....NEXT!

10)
Innovative Warning on a Condom Packet:-
There is many a Drip between
your Prick and her Hip.

11)
We both know everyone must have some secrets...........
So don't take it wrongly when people ask me "Do I know You" and I disgustingly pretend I obviously do not. I would like that to be a secret......
FOREVER.

12)
Due to the recent Ban on Adult Content, Discovery Channel has been asked to amend its Biography on Archimedes and incur some Indian Values. So after a Royal bath instead of running naked shouting "Eureka", Archimedes will fully dress himself, Oil his hair and take his parents blessings before going out and Shouting HARI OM, HARI OM

13)
I wonder why they Kicked me out when I proposed to declare MY Own WORLD as the Fourth New Planet in the Solar System......Maybe they would take me more seriously if I adopted a Roman Gods name like Bacchus.....The God of Wine and partying.......

--Bacchus (formely known as Brian)

14)
Send this mail to 6546465135 people within 47 secs holding your right leg in your left hand while scratching under ur arms and you will get Brian Baba's Ashirwad for Smooth Motions.

If you will not, please carry Tissue paper at all times. You have been fore-warned.
--Brian Baba

15)
New Song:-
If there's something STRANGE
in your NEIGHBOURHOOD........
Who ur gonna Call????

.............ROBIN-HOOD

16)
Aap Jaisa koi, Meri Zindagi aaye,
To Baat ka batangad ban jayage......


17)
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:-
If an Eye for an Eye will make the whole world Blind.
Is Global Warming bcos of you and I Farting???????

18)
This mail has been sent by Brian........
-B for BhatacharyaNarangSwami
-R for RavindraVeerPurabSinghal
-I for IndraNarayanVidyabharti
-A for AurangzebMuftiAlMohammedKhan and
-N for NityaVallakichamSuryavanshRai
............Dobara Mat Puchna


19)
Aaram Haraam hai,
Mein Haraami hoon.......


20)
The World's most desperate flirting line---
Kya Tum Akele ho.......
Mujse Zabardasti karoge


21)
If you wish to unsubscribe from receiving my mails then---
BULLSHIT...There is no such way....You're SCREWED.


22)
My Mom told me not to send emails to strangers.........By the way
Whats your name????????

23)
Don't drink while Surfing....

24)
Who authorised you to get mails from me?

Magical Pricing, Magical Products

The TATA's 1 Lakh car has now been established as the cheapest car in the World till date. It was one of the Most awaited Products of our times. The fantasy of launching a product with a Magical price, one that drastically knocks down the base price to a new low, compelling all competitors to run helter skelter redrawing every known and unknown marketing strategy. While this magical round figure with 1 and corresponding zeroes have fascinated many, few targets hv been achieved and few are still in the Pipeline.


Rs. 100000/- Tata's Nano
Rs. 10000/- Home PC
Rs. 1000/- Mobile Phone
Rs. 100/- Monthly Broadband Connection
Rs. 10/- Chota Recharge
Re. 1/- One India plan (Phone call to all over India.)

If this goes on, I will have to bid my used underwears on Ebay for 10p onwards :-(

I can Rape and Kill you for just Rs.12500/- flat:

Its 10 days into the new year and it ceratinly one to reckon with. Especially if you belong to the fairer sex. Even before the clock struck 12 on New years eve, in our CM's own backyard Taslima was raped and killed by 4 youths. Here's an Instruction Manual for those commited such heinous sins.

Step 1: Hang the girls body on a tree and leave for the family to discover their girl lifeless suspended in mid-air.
Step 2: Get your elders involved to talk with the Victims family to accept Rs.50000/- (dat amounts to Rs.12500/- per youth) and shut their mouth forever.*
* Conditions Apply: Threats to the rest of the family may be issued.
Step 3: Go in for the low key burial for the victim. (now why wud you want to tarnish the boys image for such a small thing)

Incase you think I am mocking a serious issue, prove me that isn't exactly what is being done!! The entire Panchayat and police go in cahoots to protect the 4 boys who have scoffed at the thought of any punishment coming over them for what they hv done. Why? Bcos who in Gods name would care whatever happened to Taslima in this male dominated bastion? Who the hell is Taslima? And why should her murder spoil the future of 4 youths?

Well past 12 midnight into the New year, things may look different this year. BZZZZZZZZZ........think again. Few hours into it and 80 men substituted burning an old man with fondling women in public a much better way to start the year. While the couple under attack hv stayed away from the case by switching off their cellphones, it took the media to tirelessly play and replay the incident gnawing every nook and corner of the issue for the Home Ministry to wake up and kick the commissioner for his gawti statements regarding women and why they should be left at home to produce and raise children.

And why mumbai.......The new year news was filled with women groping stories from Kochi to Kolkatta...Media-glared Issues may be slurred at first by authorities in a oversmart bid to show that the media is stupid. If the media throws that back with vengeance, they simply bite the dust and then promise action on the issue... No wait...something more feeble which will not hound them till the overzealous media gets on to something else. They will say they will LOOK INTO THE MATTER.....hmmm. I mean can you imagine the efforts they would hv to put if they were to raise the conviction rate of crimes against women which is at a pathetic 26% and even more pathetic 11% at the state level?

A story in similarity to Juhu case happened in Australia this weekend at the Summernats Street car festival when a mob of around 400 drunk men surrounded young girls and asked them to flash their breasts. No excuse here that while this sick form of behaviour is not restricted only to India, but its for sure accepted as an awfully disgusting behaviour in all cultures across the globe. Atleast the females will think so.

Maybe this is the Chinese year of Man....the wildest among all Breasts....I MEAN BEASTS.... Ohh I forgot I was a man myself.
God Save the Women